Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Schwartz's vs the Bowels of Hell

Hello y'all!  I'm in hell.  See, when you decide to have kids you think of all the cute stuff they do.  They crawl and babble.   And you think cute.  I want that.  And so you have one.  And you think having a newborn is hard.  Especially if they are like Cody and you are constantly trying to figure out why are they crying this time.  How come they don't eat.  Why can't I just get some sleep.  But then they grow out of that.  And they want you to play with them.  And they talk to you.  And they bring you books and ask to sit in your lap and want you to read to them and sing to them.  And they tell you they love you and they give you hugs and kisses.  And you think awww...this is so great.  This is why I had kids.

Then you start potty training.  And this, my friends, this is what you should fear the moment you pee on that stick and you see 2 pink lines.  This is what hell is.  Don't worry about labor.  It's not that hard and your body is wired to make you forget how painful it is.  But cleaning poop out of panties and swimsuits and watching your kid go to the corner of the room and push a giant turd out into her princess panties even though we just sat on the potty 2 minutes ago.  This is where you find out if you were meant for this stuff, but unfortunetly by this point it's too late.  There is a strict no return policy on kids.

It's a good thing we had Cody before I started potty training Sarah.  Because had I known all this...she surely would have been an only child.

Truth be told, she's actually doing a pretty good job.  We've been going commando at home since Thursday and we've only had one pee pee accident which she did in fact pinch off and finish on the toilet.  She's wearing pull ups to bed and is still waking up wet but she drinks a lot all day long so its going to be a while before she wakes up dry.  However, the minute we have to put panties on her or a pull up, she poops.  And more specifically she poops when we go swimming which is really aggravating and I make her go home so that she learns there's a consequence for her action.

So I know I have more people out here who read my blog then ever comment but I'm BEGGING YOU PEOPLE!  What are your potty training tips for getting them to POOP in the POTTY!

Obligatory picture to prove I haven't killed her yet.  Thank goodness she so stinkin' adorable.  She actually told me, "Mommy, go get the camera and take a picture of mommy and Sarah."


  1. This is why my life rocks having 4 boys! Potty training M was a nightmare. Potty training on the go is even worse. I'd commit a week to staying home and drilling in the how-to's and the reward system. At least she's mastered the pee part, right?! Good luck!

  2. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time! I'll pray for you guys! (You already know I have no tips. Lee is 4 and still wears a pull up to bed. Daniel is 3 and we haven't even attempted potty training yet.)

  3. I second the not going anywhere for awhile. Sorry it's no fun. But they always seem to poop whenever you go out somewhere. With Kamrie we had jar with a picture of some Dora doll she really wanted. We had marbles that she got to put in the jar when she went, and when she didn't she had to take some out. of course, when it was full she got the doll. With some of the other kids I potty trained, I just put the potty chair in the tv room and made them sit on it while they watched tv. Eventually they would just go, and after awhile realized it wasn't so bad. I know it's super frustrating, a few times I gave up, went back to diapers for awhile. Just for both of our sakes.