The Schwartz's vs Pizza Hut through the Eyes of a Spectator

Written by Susan:

There are few events in life that truly inspire both fear and awe at the same time. Tonight was one of those events. It started off innocently enough. Natalie and Chris invited us to come out and see the new couches, and catch up on Sarah time. Simple enough. I met up with Steffanie after work, with Cameron to follow after her booster meeting. I know. A booster meeting on a Friday afternoon. That's a whole 'nother blog.

Anyway. Back to the story. I called Natalie while driving through Millington, to make sure that we had dinner arranged. We decided pizza was easiest, so I suggested that she go ahead and order, so we didn't have to wait too long once we got there. Cameron could nuke hers once she got there. Wishful thinking.

Natalie ordered the pizza online at exactly 6:08 p.m. and promptly received an email confirmation, stating the pizza would arrive around 7 p.m. We had  good time waiting, playing with Sarah's awesome toys, and reading books before she went to bed. We then settled into a game of Mario Kart while we waited.

When the pizza hadn't arrived by 7:20, Natalie called to check. She was told, of course, that it was on it's way. Not quite believable, considering when she gave Frank her name, he asked someone else, "Is that it right there?" She gave him the benefit of the doubt, and we continued to play and wait. By the way, Natalie and Chris are Mario Kart fiends.

By 7:40, we thought it was getting a little ridiculous. Natalie called back, and it was then that I saw her true form. Friends, if I ever have a conflict, I know who to call. Within minutes, she had asked for the manager. Frank (see above), not able to get the manager, took matters into his own hands and promptly gave us a discount, knocking the pizza down to $12.02. Not too bad for 3 pizzas. He promised it was on it's way, and we, believing in the unerring goodness of man, believed him. We soon saw the error of our ways.

At 8:10, a new Natalie began to emerge. She, like the rest of us, was starving. Given that by now it had been 2 hours, who wouldn't be. So Natalie kicked it into high gear. With phone 1 (this becomes important), she called Pizza Hut and again asked for a manager and was put on hold. After 6 minutes, she picked up phone 2 and called again, only to be put on hold with that one. After another 3 or 4 minutes, she picked up phone 3 and dialed yet again. With that one, she got corporate, who offered to give her the number to the Atoka branch. She quoted it back to them, asked why she was even talking to them, and hung up. Finally, after than 14 minutes and 21 seconds, phone 1 beeped. It was the driver. Calling to ask directions to her house. It was then that I thought about hiding. I swear I saw her head spin. "YOU'RE JUST LEAVING THE STORE!?!" Natalie then informed the driver that her pizza would be hot and fresh, and that it would be free. Prophetic words. The highlight of my evening, however, didn't come until Natalie asked the driver to put a manager on the phone. When informed that the driver had just left the store, Natalie told her, and I quote, "I want you to walk the mobile phone back into the store and hand it to your manager." Nice. She decided to let her head this way, but only after asking the driver to call the managers (really, you have to think she was giving them fair warning) and have them call her back. She hung up the phone and returned triumphantly to the room, declaring "I have names!"

She then turned back to phone one after she got off the line with the driver and called the store again? A poor, innocent Pizza Hut worker. Natalie asked to speak to a manager.  "Angela or Debra, whoever is closer!" The following are quotes from the ensuing conversation:

Natalie: "Most people would be irate after hour and a half! I gave you two and a half!"

Natalie (upon the pizza arriving): "It's a Christmas miracle! I was beginning to believe that pizza didn't exist!"
Debra (insert innocent tone here): "Oh! It's cute how you said that!"

Debra: "How much credit did I tell you I was going to put on your account?"
Natalie: "I could just name a number! Free pizza for life!"

All's well that ends well, I suppose. The driver did arrive, and Natalie was the bigger person and gave her a tip. Monetary. Not the type that suggests what she could do with her pizza or her managers.